When meeting my role models this is the question I asked. What would you tell your younger self? I was amazed at the response.
At my grand age of 45, I feel I have had a fruitful life to date, I do however feel I have missed opportunities in life too and wonder why the younger me stopped me doing things. In my heart I feel I am just warming up for the second half of my life and yet the Gemini in me says I have missed the boat too.
I am fortunate to meet and inspire young people starting on their journeys and I often wave the brave card in their faces. I am also blessed with the companionship of many positive active seniors who have seen it all and have the tee shirts. I am interested to hear what would you tell your younger you? What pearls of wisdom would you offer yourself, if you could travel back in time?
Here are my thoughts:-
No time for HATE. I always said to you, HATE is the worst word ever. Hate consumes you. Love hard. Even those who really don’t deserve it. Love. Have kindness in your heart. Love and kindness, sit with forgiveness. We haven’t got time for fighting and battles (see scared below) The energy spent hating is simply not worth it. Not enough time in your plan to hate. So delete the word from your vocabulary.
Never give up
Never give up. You are a warrior not a worrier. Never give up, get a sledgehammer and smash the walls and doors down if you have to. Question negativity. Have a down day, but then get up, put your face on and own it, BUT NEVER, EVER, GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS. On that note: Leave a little sparkle wherever you go. With that said, dreaming is good, but get sh** done. We have no time for fannying around. Make a list, get it done. Simple!
Your body is beautiful. Please do not compare it to others. You are beautiful. This is my greatest worry for your future. Perfect exists in the eyes of those who love you. Please do not waste hours trying on clothes and feeling bad that your bum looks big, or your boobs look horrible, or you are having a bad hair day. Your beauty within resonates throughout. Surround yourself by people that build you up. Be healthy, look after your body in whatever shape it is. Be strong, be active and never be ashamed. You are magnificent, I want you to say this to yourself every day. The media sucks at making us feel good about ourselves. Nothing can dim the light that shines within. You have one body so look after it. It breaks with time, so nourish it, like it and look after it.
Listen! Stand down from all the noise and listen. Make decisions in your quiet time. Read the news, form opinions on your own to avoid influence. Listen. Listen to others, let them speak, never listen to respond, simply listen. Enjoy.
Say NO. You will never have to force anything that is not meant to be and that is in relationships, business, opportunities. If it doesn’t fit, move on. Stick with your values, otherwise this will suck on your happiness.
Show emotions. Sometimes you have to let people know you are hurt, angry, sad, tired… I don’t mean have a tantrum, I mean never be afraid to tell people that your feelings are hurt. We are becoming so passive, we seem to allow people to be cruel and sadly they probably don’t realise they are hurting your feelings.
Meditate. I know I am the Queen of a selfie but sometimes you really do need to PAUSE and take in your environment, capture the essence of the moment and simply be. This allows for the focus to come in and settle a troubled mind. The past is the past, the future needs grabbing with both arms.
To recognise that friendships are not always for life – we never stop growing, learning, experiencing and wanting to evolve. Sometimes the journey involves parting relationships. This is out of love. Having acceptance around relationship changes will bring comfort to your unsettled heart. Do not be sad about this, you will gain years of happiness with this knowledge.
Laugh. Never be afraid to let it all go and laugh. Really laugh. Let the happiness in and allow tears to roll down your cheeks. Life is not Instagram perfect and followers, show your true soul in your eyes when you laugh.
Be Happy. Not the same as laughter, but it often feels the same. This sits with your integrity and the authentic you. Your happiness will guide you in life. Listen to your heart and your gut. If you ever feel uneasy about people, situations… change it. Don’t be scared! See Scared below!
Have Faith. I am not a typically religious person, but I do have faith. This presents in all sorts of ways. I believe that someone out there is bigger than you and is keeping an eye on your journey. It might be mother nature and the universe, who knows. But hold onto your beliefs. Feel the love inside and know that things happen for a reason that make us vulnerable, hurt, happy and driven. These will form as your lessons and how we grow from them.
Don’t be Scared. Everything can be scary. On those days when the terror is strong, wake up your alter ego and stand in your alter ego’s power. I am often scared, but I won’t always show it. I turn to my superhero wardrobe which is a cross between Zena The Warrior Princess meets Wonder Woman and a dash of Sasha Fierce. In other words: Be a Badass with a good heart. Soft yet strong. Unapologetic and honest. Be the type of woman you go to war beside, NOT against.